MPC Press International

Tech Love and Death

admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 22:52:00 +0000

Once upon a time Jack received an email addressed to him and many others including his old friend Jill and until this point he had no idea where she was or how to reach her during the past 10 years so he clicked “Reply to All” and then deleted every other email but Jill’s and said hello and asked if she’d like to grab a cup of coffee so they did and exchanged cell numbers and she texted him “TY Good 2 C U” and he replied “Dinner nxt wk?” and they dated and on her birthday he bought her an iPad and on his birthday she bought him a Kindle Fire and the relationship became serious and they skyped all of the time when she traveled for work and texted and emailed and skyped so much that they grew sick of each other and broke up.

Peep Show

admin — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 21:06:37 +0000

I watched half a movie on the flight yesterday. It’s not what you are thinking. I didn’t see only the first hour or the last hour. It was two hours and I watched for the full two hours. But my seat had an obstructed view, with the overhead blocking half of the screen. I believe it was “Captain America”, but I saw it as “America”. It took place in War II…probably World War II. There was a beautiful woman in the movie that had at least one breast. And the star, the America guy, kissed someone. I think it was the beautiful woman, but actually the beautiful woman wasn’t too happy later, so he probably kissed someone else. The movie wasn’t half bad…or half good. That’s all, I gotta “split”.

Don’t Park Near a Strip Club

admin — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 20:07:21 +0000

Yes, this is a family website, but I’ll be tame. It should be a basic rule: never park your car near a store, club, etc. where you would not want to be seen. Yesterday, as I walked to my car (in the lot across from “Love Jungle”, where really, I was not visiting), a friend happened to drive by. Sadly for me, he honked, smiled, and gave me a thumbs up. Of course, I could call him and offer full denial, but this would probably make the situation worse. The only way to prevent this type of scenario is to observe the surrounding area when you park.

Finding an Illustrator

admin — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 05:46:22 +0000

I can’t draw; my pigs look like dogs. In every guide to getting a children’s book published (here is one), it is stated that publishers prefer that children’s book authors submit their work without pictures. The publishers want the job of pairing the authors with illustrators. I sent my first children’s book, Lawrence the Laughing Cookie Jar, to publishers back in about 2002, and I didn’t include illustrations. I wish I could offer the publishers’ views on the pros and cons of submittals with and without illustrations but most of the 30 publishers never responded and those that did, simply said, “we are not interested in your book, but thank you.” However, it does seem that the major publishers (you can go to their websites) prefer to introduce children’s book authors to their own illustrators, typically artists with whom they have previously worked. Anyway, knowing that my book would not be published, I looked in the mirror and suddenly found an expensive but quality publisher–Marks Publishing Company, now known as MPC Press International. Yes, I am talking about yours truly, the only publisher who could not say no to me. MPC Press simply smiled back in the mirror, knowing it would receive a healthy fee.

So my search for an illustrator began. And, MPC kindly offered to find me an illustrator! Not only had I been hired by a publisher, but this publisher was going to pay for my illustrator. For the next step, MPC (I, the author/publisher) went to the websites of two local art schools, The San Francisco Art Institute, and The Academy of Art College and posted help wanted ads. Within a couple of days, I had received emails from a dozen students and alumni who were ready to illustrate Lawrence the Laughing Cookie Jar. At this point, few of these people had websites displaying their portfolios so I met each one for coffee. (For my second children’s book, Rhyme, I was able to review the prospective illustrators’ work online.) As for my meetings, it was easy to say a quick “no thanks” to George and his morbid collection of skeleton drawings; these just weren’t right for this particular children’s book. And Laura’s graphic nudes didn’t make the cut. But Josephine Taylor’s work was more pleasant and appropriate and she became the illustrator of my first children’s book. Feel free to contact me for information on cost.

Socks in the Clouds

admin — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 23:59:13 +0000

Question. If you are sitting comfortably on a plane, in your stocking feet, and need to use the lavatory at 30,000 feet, must you put on your shoes? For one, it can be uncomfortable fitting your expanded feet into your shoes at this high elevation midway through your flight. More important, does it matter if you stand on an unsanitary floor in socks that will be thrown in the hamper upon your return home? Of course those socks will first touch the inside of your shoes (which may be smelly and dirty already, but not from what is covering a public bathroom floor). I don’t seem to care but are there any informal rules here? Thoughts?

Hello

admin — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 20:40:02 +0000

Do you talk to the person next to you? We all think about saying more than “hello” to the airplane passenger in the adjacent seat. Some of us have a firm view, one way or the other, and those that do generally believe in keeping quiet. A minority consider it fair game and a way of life to at least ask, “are you heading home or away?” And an overwhelming majority, talkers or not, do not want to be seated next to the John Candy character from Planes, Trains and Automobiles. It takes a lot of work to keep up conversation in a polite way with this type of neighbor. All of us have been confronted, and everyone has tried the sleep route, shutting our eyes (rude perhaps, but not so rude during takeoff) at the first lull in the conversation. With a chatty cab driver, it is easy to fake an incoming phone call, and at some point cell phone calls will probably be status quo on planes. Recently, I sat next to Henry Winkler on a plane, and he couldn’t have been nicer. I would bet that everyone speaks to him on flights. In fact, an obnoxious passenger behind me, upon overhearing me ask about Happy Days, said, “I guess we just can’t leave Fonzie alone.” Or maybe I was the obnoxious one for making small talk. I took a five hour flight this week, and as we were landing said my first words (other than “excuse me”, when climbing over to go the lavatory) to the adjacent passenger. After 5 minutes, we discovered that we were childhood friends who just didn’t recognize each other. Going forward, I may be more chatty, after this pleasant occurrence.

Opening Cereal

admin — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 20:24:53 +0000

TVs are bigger, slimmer, better. Cameras are digital; yes, we can see our pictures right away! Heck, we have microwaves. Even paper bags have handles now. A lot has changed over the last 30 years. But I was looking at a box of Cheerios yesterday (we’re working on a cereal promotion campaign with Rhyme) and I realized that nothing had changed with this product. Of course, I am happy that the flavor has stayed the same, but we all know how tricky it is to open the plastic. You don’t want to use scissors, as you will lose some of the ability to fold the plastic back into the box. So, you pull the plastic from each sides with hope of separating. Not easy, and frustrating. And when you do succeed, rolling up the plastic does not work well until half of the cereal has been eaten. How do you keep the cereal fresh? And how do you open the plastic? There must be a better way!!!

No Credit

admin — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 16:11:57 +0000

We are not awarded points simply for letting dishes get clean by soaking them in the sink. This is actually new to me; I just learned it. Let’s say you put all of the plates and forks and knives in the dishwasher. Obviously the lasagna pyrex would take more than a few minutes of scrubbing so the simple solution is to let is soak overnight. You leave it filled with water and some soap in the sink, right? (And hand soap is fine, even though she thinks there is a difference between hand and dish soap.) Then you have done a wonderful job completely cleaning up from dinner; she’ll be so happy. But here is the response: “Do you want me to finish what you started?” C’mon, you’ve done it all, really. No, I guess not. If the sink is not completely cleared and clean, you’ll receive no points.

Over/Under

admin — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 04:14:37 +0000

No, I’m not talking about betting. Toilet paper. Do you pull it from over or under? In my informal polling, I have found that 90% of the people believe that over is correct. But the only justification cited is that, when you pull it over, you can create the triangles that they make in hotels. Not enough of a case, in my view. There must be something good about the under method? How about this: if your hands are wet, and you grab an over roll, you could dampen additional sheets. But, if you pull it from under, you don’t risk harming the rest of the roll.

Switching Lanes

admin — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 05:37:58 +0000

Have you ever been driving on the highway and in a moment without focus (or with exhaustion), weaved partially into the next lane, but then quickly turned on your blinker as if the lane shift was your plan all along? Yeah, you’re cool, they didn’t know what was up, don’t worry about it…..hmmm, I have done this many times and tried to cover it up (or alert the next lane, even though it is too late) with the blinker.